my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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