i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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