doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
