i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
