He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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