How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
