$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
