I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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