I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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