oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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