u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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