she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We had sex on a dog bed..
True strength comes from lack of pants
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
