my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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