We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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