This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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