you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
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Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
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No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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