Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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