did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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