I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My vagina is very pro this idea
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
