As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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