Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
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And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
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When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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