I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
