420 ftw
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize