you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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