some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
sex in a hospital.. check
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize