i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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