We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
