the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
