apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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