She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
