Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
