Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
