wat bout pragnant strippers??
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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