beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
They are going to name an STD after you.
COCAINE IS GR8
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
