its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
