that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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