How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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