You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
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Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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