How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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