it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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