Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize