I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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