Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
