so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
