i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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