he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
