He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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