Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
