Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
