Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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