Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
