I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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