everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
