The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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