R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
