Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How does it feel to date your dad?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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