Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
