It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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