Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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