That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
then he tried to convert me to islam
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
