When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
So squirting runs in the family.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
