i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
