it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
