How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
