I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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