You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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